Whooping Llama

Here’s a feature story I did for The Eagle back in January…

At some point in their lives, many American girls will slip a diamond ring on their finger. It will be at the request of a significant other who carefully selected the cut, color, and carat of the rock and then wrote the biggest check of their life on the glass jeweler’s counter. The stone is meant to be a symbol of undying love, showing that both parties are willing to make the relationship last until the very end. It is difficult to imagine that in Africa, where many of these gems originate, the sentiments toward them are significantly less warm and fuzzy.

In several parts of Africa diamond mining is a way of life, but has contributed to the death of millions. Illegitimately-mined diamonds have become a very popular way to fund civil wars and other armed conflicts in war-torn parts of the continent. These gems are known as “conflict” or “blood” diamonds. The wars they helped fund in Angola, Sierra Leone, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo killed 3.7 million people in the ‘90s, according to Amnesty International.

The problem of conflict diamonds has lessened considerably since then, thanks to peace in Sierra Leone and Angola, and a quieting of the conflict in the DRC. Legislation has also been passed in many countries (including the United States) as part of the Kimberley Process, which was set up in 2003 to keep conflict diamonds off the market.

Before the Process, conflict diamonds would be sold to suppliers and, being completely unmarked, blend in with clean gems. They would make their way into jewelry stores and onto ring fingers, all virtually untraceable. Now every diamond sold must be shipped in a tamper-resistant container and accompanied by a Kimberly Process certificate that states its origin. This is supposed to keep the politically-questionable rocks out of the picture by keeping conflict diamond-producing areas out of the diamond trade, but there are substantial loopholes in the system.

Conflict diamonds are still entering the global market through places like Mali and Ghana. They come from countries not sanctioned by the Kimberley Process like Côte d’Ivoire and Liberia that cannot legally export diamonds, so the stones must be smuggled into neighboring countries. Due to their extremely portable size, smuggling a diamond can be as easy as a short canoe trip across a river.

Rest assured. Blood diamonds hardly dominate the market. In fact, their abundance in the diamond world is quite small. The World Diamond Council says they represent less than one percent the world’s diamond production. Still, that’s pretty substantial when one considers that in 2005, $33.7 billion worth of diamonds were sold in U.S. alone.

I realize this all sounds pretty devastating if you’re in the market for a diamond (Valentine’s Day’s coming up, you know). Most people wouldn’t want to think that their princess-cut, Tiffany-set, one-and-a-half carat bank account-buster helped to buy a rebel warlord’s latest M-16. But can the individual consumer really do anything about this problem? Well, Amnesty International and Global Witness advise jewelry buyers to ask their jeweler for a written guarantee from their diamond supplier stating that the diamond being purchased is conflict-free. Sounds easy enough, right?

When I asked about her company’s policy on conflict diamonds, a saleslady at Kay Jewelers quickly assured me that I “can be confident that concrete and comprehensive measures are being taken to ensure the products we sell do not include conflict diamonds.” An eloquent response, yes, but it’s a lot less impressive when you see her reading from the brochure. The pamphlet says diamond suppliers provide Kay with a written guarantee regarding the origin of their product, but it’s unclear whether or not the consumer receives such a warranty. The lady behind the counter wouldn’t answer any further questions on the subject.

Roger’s Jewelers provided a bit more information. When asked if they supply customers with written guarantees that their diamonds are conflict-free, the salesperson gave a less-than-assuring “I’m sure we could.” She did say the store “hand-selects all our diamonds and we buy from diamond houses that are governed by the Kimberley Process.”

That’s about as good as guarantees get from jewelry stores. The real problems in the diamond industry come at the higher levels, where the blood diamonds slip in. Until the Kimberley Process is completely patched up (which they’re working on), this is going to keep happening. So where does that leave you if you’re planning on popping the question? Probably shelling out three months’ pay.

Move over Anne Rice, there’s a new vampire novelist in town.

First-timer Elizabeth Kostova has crafted an extraordinary book in The Historian, a retelling of the Dracula myth first popularized by Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel. Just when it seemed there were no stones left unturned and no necks unbitten in this classic tale, Kostova breathes new life into the prince of the undead. Her villain hews closer to the historical Dracula (known to scholars as Vlad Tempes or “Vlad the Impaler”), with bits of Stoker’s blood-sucker thrown in for good measure.

The novel starts out with an unnamed sixteen-year-old narrator living in Amsterdam with her father, Paul (her mother had died when she was young). She has lived a pretty sheltered life but is well traveled and exceptionally bright, especially when it comes to history. One night she discovers some disturbing old letters in her father’s study, along with an ancient book with a woodcut print of a dragon in the center. She confronts her father with these items, and he slowly begins to reveal their history. Apparently, Dracula was still kickin’ after a half-millennium and dear old dad had once been hot on his trail. The ensuing adventure takes readers across Europe: from Oxford to Istanbul, Paris to Budapest, in search of a pasty guy with exceptionally long cuspids.

Kostova has a gift for managing compex plots while maintaining readability. Like Stoker’s original novel, most of The Historian is told through letters and journal entries. Thus, the narrator of the story is constantly changing (although Paul does most of the talking). The plot could have easily been lost in the bustle, but Kostova writes finely-crafted narratives for each character, each with an appropriate voice that keeps the story clear and cohesive. The sheer number of characters contained in these six hundred-some pages is also impressive (actually, make that “astounding”). There are allies and enemies in every locale visited, some appearing in several locations. Under the quill of most writers a cast this size would be overwhelming, but the author handles the task with the grace of a Victorian novelist. Yes, some of the eastern European names begin to run together after a while, but the important characters stand out from the crowd magnificently. Well-planned prose indeed.

Kostova knows her subject well. The history that props up this masterfully-spun yarn is thorough and compelling. Much of what is said about Dracula (aside from the vampirism and undead status) comes directly from Vlad’s life. The military shrewdness, sadist tendencies, and bloody conflicts with the

Ottoman Empire—all unfortunately true. The supernatural aspects of the novel are obviously fabricated, but the rest of the novel is so painstakingly researched that it’s often difficult to tell where history ends and fiction begins. This is one of The Historian’s many charms: the novel is just as convincing when deviating from fact as when wallowing in it.

Personally, I’ve never been one for monster stories, but this one hooked me. The Historian is one of those page-turners that will keep you up all night…not from fright, but from an inability to lay the thing down. Not too convenient if you’ve got an early class, but it’s worth every minute of sleep lost.

I searched and searched and searched, but to no avail. It is impossible to find Ralph Stanley’s “I’m Willing to Try” online. iTunes doesn’t have it, and neither do the….ahem…less legitimate sources for digital audio. Apparently the song has been a regular in Dr. Ralph’s live set, but he only recorded it once (on his 1983 album Child of the King). Rebel Records hasn’t released Child of the King on CD yet, so my only option was to order the original LP. I pulled the audio off the record using a nifty converter box and Audacity, and below you’ll find a link to the fruits of my labor. Enjoy.

Ralph Stanley - I’m Willing to Try

Here’s a song by Amy Winehouse, not available for download (at least not on iTunes). This one’s a cover of the old Phil Spector song “To Know Him is to Love Him.” Really cool.

Amy Winehouse - To Know Him is to Love Him

Lastly, but certainly not leastly, is this: Joss Stone and Melissa Etheridge doing a Janis Joplin medley performed live at the 2005 Grammys. Doesn’t Joss Stone remind you of Janis? I mean, without all the drugs of course. The sound quality sucks, and I apologize but this is the best I could find. If anyone out there in Internet land has a better version, please comment and lemme know. This used to be offered on iTunes as a charity single, but alas, not any more. Captain Zack Sparrow to the rescue! (Pirate, get it…..arrgh.)

Joss Stone & Melissa Etheridge - Cry Baby/Piece of My Heart

I wish you the best in your own musical travels. Peace and love, children.

It seems like every time American music starts to get stodgy the Brits come along to freshen things up. Here are a couple singles from rising British soul stars that (with any luck) will take the U.S. by storm.

James Morrison – “You Give Me Something”

I think everybody’s had enough of James Blunt. “You’re Beautiful” was catchy at first, but his cheeseball soccer mom pop is so 2006. Since the music world cannot survive without a shaggy-haired, acoustic guitar-strumming Brit somewhere in the picture, somebody has to step up to take his place. My pick is singer/songwriter James Morrison (no relation to Jim).

Unlike Blunt, Morrison’s voice is actually tolerable after three listens. He has a smooth, soulful rasp, but not one of those rasps American Idol contestants adopt to sound more talented. Apparently an early bout with whooping cough can take the credit for his tone, but however he got it, it works.

 “You Give Me Something” (from his album Undiscovered, to be released stateside on March 13^th)  is a testament to Morrison’s songwriting ability—this sounds like something a Talking Book-era Stevie Wonder would have come up with. The hooks are strong and the melody is infectious. Along with some tasty electric piano work, the use of horns, strings, and percussion on the track make it a great throwback to the sounds of early 70s soul. Look forward to a review of the entire album when it drops.

By the way, you’ll be hearing that Stevie Wonder comparison from more critics than me.

Amy Winehouse – “You Know I’m No Good”

If James Morrison is today’s Stevie Wonder, Amy Winehouse is today’s Shirley Bassey…with some Etta James thrown in for taste. “You Know I’m No Good” is a James Bond theme waiting to happen (Winehouse even name-checks Roger Moore in the first verse). The drumming on this song is fantastic, definitely air-drum-worthy. An old-school horn loop runs throughout the track as well, giving everything a Stax Records feel (comparable to Christina Aguilera’s recent hit “Ain’t No Other Man”).

And the lyrics…whoa. Explicit without actually becoming profane, Amy tells listeners just why she’s “no good.” It’s a good effect, grabbing the audience’s attention without using the four letter words we’re so calloused to by now. The second verse is particularly racy, prompting me and probably everyone else who has heard this song to reach for the rewind button thinking “did she just say what I thought she said?”

This single has some serious hit potential. It’s got a good beat, great vocals, and just enough scandal to make older people nervous. Amy Winehouse’s second album, Back to Black (from which this single was culled) will also be released on March 13^th.